Do you think he had feelings for her?
In June of 2010 I found out my husband was having an emotional affair with a girl, and I say girl very meaningful because she is only 20 years ancient and lives in CA w/her mom and dad. My husband chose to still speak to her when I found out about her and wanted him to stop and he wouldn’t, he kept saying “nothing is going on, it’s just a game”, Still I didn’t reckon him hurting me was a “GAME”. Well, after several times of him leaving and staying the night in his truck and continuing to talk to her he chose he wasn’t gonna “communicate” w/ her anymore and chose he was gonna change his cell phone number and change his Yahoo e-mail (IM messenger) well, when all that was said and done, he was home again…and on the 23th of June I found out he was still communicating w/ her, I found out by snooping. I found a cellular store phone receipt in the back of his truck in a bag and I confronted him on it and he says he threw the phone away a long time ago, and he called the cell phone company (in front of me and I checked online) and had that number disconnected and got another new e-mail address!! I feel so betrayed, hurt! He gets mad at me whenever I bring “her” up, I just wanna know what they chatted about,,,I know he’s lied to her about ALOT of stuff like the kinda work he does, where he lives and I did speak to her and he had told her I was his crazy ex. I feel our bond was broken. I don’t reckon I can never forgive him for what he has done. There is a lot more to this tale…I guess I am just so mad that he chose her over me when I said If you like me then you will call her right now and tell her you wanna work on your marriage and he wouldn’t! When I called her in front of him I was leaving her a message that if she didn’t believe that he was married to call his mother and here’s the number well, right when I was giving her the number he jumped out of the chair real quick and punched my arm and slapped my face! Called me a F***ING B****! So makes me wonder did he really have some kinda feelings for this girl? Oh yeah, there was an incident where she told him she didn’t want to talk to her again, he was so upset he left and sent me and her a picture thru his IM of the bridge and said “ever wonder what the bridge looks like from on top”? And in his status update he wrote “I have nothing to live for, the person I loved the most in this world doesn’t want to talk to me”……….OK so what does that mean? He DID have feelings for her! I know he’s not speaking to her now. We have 4 kids together, been together since I was 18 and I am 35 now. Please don’t leave any nasty comments, I just wanna know if he had feelings for her or was this just an online fantasy for him that I so rudely interrupted. Thanks
He’s not talking to her anymore that I know of.
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Comments
Sounds like he has chosen her over you in every situation you have given him. In my opinion, there were feelings involved on his end
Why in the world would you want to continue to be with a man who has no regard or respect for you.
He had feelings for her. Your relationship with him is obviously unsatisfying for him for some reason. IF you can’t resolve this by talking it out or getting counselling, I reckon this marriage is over. Sounds like he really doesn’t want to be married to you anymore, sorry.
He is lusting after her. Nothing emotional. But, you certainly need to stop asking him any questions. Let it go, or go out. Otherwise you will get hurt. Believe me, that young girl doesn’t really want him, she just doesn’t know any better. He is manipulating her. It sounds like he is already on his way out the door. If I were you I would start saving some money for the breakup because it is coming.
Oh my, im so sorry this happened. In all honesty, I reckon he likes the girl. You just have to let him go. You don’t deserve him woman. He is a cheater and a liar. And he even slapped you? The nerve of him. File for a divorce and make him your crazy ex!
You say in your long tale that you DO reckon Dave had feelings for her. Trust yourself instead of a bunch of online strangers. Have more confidence in yourself.
Infidelity and physical abuse are both serious marital issues and maybe you and your spouse would benefit from some professional counseling. Professional help is worth a shot, especially since you have 4 children and you’ve been together since you were 18.
you should have called the police when he hit you. he is a jerk!
Oh goodness.. your husband is a train wreck. For the sake of your kids, I recommend you keep things civil – but the like and bond of marriage seems to be broken. I don’t reckon he’s really in like with this girl, he is just living an online fantasy. And this girl could never like him, not if she has a brain – he has lied to her about basic details of his life. She’d have to be retarded to not believe you when you’re married. But just the fact that he’s so deluded about this girl, and that he HIT YOU — that should be enough to make you want to kick him to the curb. Understandably, with four kids that’s hard – which is why I again suggest you maintain civility with him. But a romantic relationship? Not worth it.
Wow… Just wow.. You deserve so much more. Yes, I believe he has feelings for her and that being said, take him to court and clean his clock. Four kids? That entitles you to a excellent amount of his salary. 17 years together? Alimony!! See how much he has to offer another woman with only an eensy beensy bit of his salary left. Oh and physical abuse?? Supervised visits with his children!! Dump this bum, he is not worth the grief.
He doesn’t respect you what so ever. What ever you reckon he is doing well he has done worse.
The question why do you stay with such a person.
If you cant leave him then deal and live with it and take his crap that he will continue to dish because your his door mat!
AND YES HE HAS FEELINGS FOR HER. AND IF YOU CHOOSE TO HAVE ANOTHER BABY HE WILL PROBABLY BE THINKING ABOUT THE SLUT WHILE MAKING THAT BABY!
He broke the bond alright! He hit you and verbally abuses you over her. You are his wife and the mother of his children for goodness sake’s! And he does this to you? Yes, he was emotionally attached. Regardless of whether it’s a fantasy or not, he has no right to treat you this way. You and the children would be better off without him. Let him go and pursue her. She’s probably online with so many others too. He’ll get the shock of his life and realise what an idiot he’s been. Don’t accept him back in your life. He is a cheat and always will be. Excellent luck.
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